Jack Trot – Principal Boy
Jack is the son of Dame Trot, the owner of Trot’s farm. He is a carefree sort of guy who is not worried about his family’s lack of money. His thoughts are mostly for the Princess
Princess Libby – Principal Girl
She is the daughter of the King and Queen. She has been the sweetheart of Jack since their childhood, but her parents hope she will marry someone with money and standing
Dame Trot – The Pantomime Dame
Poor Dame Trot is struggling to keep her farm against all the odds. Normally optimistic about all things financial, she suddenly discovers that her only asset, Daisy the cow, has to be sold.
Billy Trot – A lively lad who is very light-hearted. He is a bit silly, sees the funny side of things and is the brother of Jack
Good Fairy Daffodil – A fairy godmother that looks after Jack and tries to keep evil away. She loves flowers.
Fleshcreep – A sinister villain who terrifies, not only the cast, but the audience too
Daisy the Cow
Nuts and Crackers – Comedy duo. They work for the king
King Charles the Spaniel – A bit of a ditherer. He tries to hide his financial problems
Queen Camilla – King’s wife, who is put upon by Gran, which causes friction
Gran – Always meddling in things. Lives with the King and Queen. Her hair, clothes and make up are a mess
Giant Thunderbore – Jack’s nemesis. The person he must beat to marry his sweetheart
Patricia Spectre – The Giant’s helper and also Gran
Act 1
Prologue – The Cloud above the Land of Smileyville
Scene 1 – The Village Green in Smileyville
Scene 2 – Just outside the Village
Scene 3 – The Market
Scene 4 – A Road back to the Village
Scene 5 – Inside Dame Trot’s Cottage
Scene 5a – Dame trots Garden
Act 2
Scene 1 – The Land of the Clouds
Scene 2 – A Corridor in the Giant’s Castle
Scene 3 – The Giant’s Kitchen
Scene 4 – The Village of Smileyville
Scene 5 – The Wedding Reception
Prologue
The Cloud above the Land of Smileyville
Loud thunder crack(S/F) and green lighting SL (L/F)
Fleshcreep enters AL
Fleshcreep – Ha! Ha! Ha!
Dragons and lizards are my friends
And I will use evil to achieve my ends
I will be quiet, and sometimes loud
To get these idiots, to climb into the cloud
Giant – Fe Fi Fo Fum
Off stage: I smell the blood of a stupid Welshmen
Mic: Be he alive or be he dead
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread
Fleshcreep – Let misery destroy this place
For all must obey and never save face
I’ll make it cold and never thaw
And ruled by Giant Thunderbore.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
You Cardiff fools, you will not spurn
And in the voice of Mr Burns
No one is brave enough to stop
The rule of the Giant, no-one will top!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Fairy bells (S/F) and orange lighting SR (L/F)
Fairy enters AR
Fairy Daff – Hello my lovelies, what’s all this fuss?
It’s almost enough to make one cuss
My name is Fairy Daffodil
But call me Daff, as you will.
Oi you, you’re naughty and wrong
Allow me to tell you all in a song.
On stage, Princess and Gran
After the song some of the villagers leave
Town Crier – Oh yea! Oh yea!, Ladies, Gentlemen, boys, girls and those who are not sure. I have an important anoon, anooon, anunnn… thing to say. “If anyone is brave enough to kill Giant Thunderbore and rid this land of all oppression, coldness, darkness… Oh I’ve only just realised how bleak this is. I normally just read this out, not taking in what I am actually reading. Starts to sob
Villager 1 – Now I know why they call him the town crier!
Villagers – GET ON WITH IT
Town Crier – Sorry. Their reward will be Princess Libby’s hand in marriage
Villager 2 – Just her hand?
Princess – Oh Gran, he announces that every day, but there is no-one brave enough to take on the Giant
Gran – Or stupid enough!
Princess – What do you mean by that?
Gran – Oh sorry. That didn’t come out right. I meant stupid enough to take on the Giant
Princess – I know what you meant Gran. Oh, I dream about a day when all our worries are over and I marry a handsome, loving, funny, generous, caring, polite, sensible man, who is understanding of women’s needs – and is tidy around the house
Gran – Are you on medication? A man like that doesn’t exist!
Nuts and Crackers enter USR with trumpets – Royal Fanfare (S/F)
Princess – Here comes Father and Mother
N & C – Stand to attention and welcome the Royal Party – King Charles the Spaniel and Queen Camilla
King and Queen enter USR
King – Thank you. Thank you all. How respectful Villagers and Gran pull faces behind their backs. Well it is a lovely day for it
Queen – For it? For what?
King – For it. For someone to be brave
Gran – Or stupid
King – BRAVE enough to get rid of Giant Thunderbore once and for all. Anyone?
Some Villagers exit SL & SR
This is getting me down. No-one comes to our village. So we get no tourism, we have no money, and the only way things could get worse, is if we had to host a NATO summit!
Queen – Things aren’t that bad, at least we’re not shopping in LIDL!
Gran – I do. Their hair products are so cheap. I am amazed no-one else uses them!
Everyone stares in disbelief at Grans hair
King – There is only one thing for it, we will have to get Princess Libby married off to a very rich man
Princess – But Father, I don’t want to marry a man for money. I want to marry a man for love
Queen – Well, sometimes you have to compromise. I did!
Gran – Yes, you compromised so much, you didn’t get money or love!
Queen – Oh come on Libby we have better things to do than to listen to her acid tongue. Why don’t you do something to occupy your time, like getting a job